Man’s Favoritism Revealed When He Puts Only Half His Nieces and Nephews in His Will, Brother Calls Him Selfish and Demands He Include His Children Too, Causing the Parents to Get Involved

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Dec 3, 2024 12:00 PM EST

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. The ugly face of favoritism shows itself more often than we'd like to admit. Whether we're friendlier with some coworkers than others, or we prefer to spend time with one sibling over another, or if we're on the other side of the favoritism coin. What about when we're the person left out of the friend group, or our uncle chooses to put his other nieces and nephews in the will but not us? All of these things play a part in our interpersonal relationships. 

This brings us to the Reddit thread. In this story, it's about favoritism with an uncle and his nieces and nephews. He claims he's close with his younger sister's children, but has almost no relationship with his older brother's children, as they moved out of state. He puts his younger sister's children in his will, but not his older brothers. You'll have to read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01
    I told him no. I explained that my money is mine to allocate, and it's going to the kids I have an actual relationship with. He called me selfish and said I was punishing his kids for circumstances beyond their control. My parents are now involved and think I should "keep the peace" by leaving something for Dave's kids, but Emma has my
    via Canva
  • 02
    r/AITAH • 18 hr. ago InitialPair9221 AITAH for refusing to change my will after my brother asked for "fairness" for his kids?
    via u/InitialPair9221
  • 03
    I (36M) am unmarried with no kids, but I'm very close to my niece (10F) and nephew (8M) from my younger sister Emma (34F). I've been in their lives since they were born, and I love them like they're my own. Over the years, I've set aside a significant portion of my savings for them in my will, including some property I own, as
    via u/InitialPair9221
  • 04
    I want them to have a good start in life.
    via u/InitialPair9221
  • 05
    My older brother Dave (38M) recently found out about my will. He has three kids (12M, 9F, and 7M), but to be honest, we're not close. He moved to another state years ago, and I only see his family once or twice a year. His kids are fine, but we don't have the same bond.
    via u/InitialPair9221
  • 06
    When Dave learned I left most of my assets to Emma's kids, he got upset and accused me of favoring them unfairly. He argued that since he has more kids, they need the money more and that splitting my estate equally among all five kids would be "the right thing to do."
    via u/InitialPair9221
  • 07
    I told him no. I explained that my money is mine to allocate, and it's going to the kids I have an actual relationship with. He called me selfish and said I was punishing his kids for circumstances beyond their control. My parents are now involved and think I should "keep the peace" by leaving something for Dave's kids, but Emma has my
    via u/InitialPair9221
  • 08
    back and says I'm doing nothing wrong. AITAH for sticking to my decision?
    via u/InitialPair9221
  • 09
    Cocklecove 18h ago • No you are not wrong to not change your will. It's your money to distribute as you want. Why did this even come up in a conversation. Why did your brother even find out about this. It should have been kept private.
    via u/Cocklecove
  • 10
    Cute-Profession... • 17h ago • Top 1% Commenter You're not even 40 and your brother is already picking over your bones. What a d...
    via u/Cute-Profession
  • 11
    julet1815 16h ago Why would he even know what was in your will? No one knows what's in my will except my lawyer and the two random people in his office who witnessed it.
    via u/julet1815
  • 12
    Icy_Adagio4274 • 18h ago. NTA. It's your money and your will. You can do what you want with it. I would make sure it's water tight so he can't challenge it when you're gone. If he's acting this way now, imagine what he'll be like when you're gone
    via u/Icy_Adagio4274
  • 13
    Starry-Dust4444 • 17h ago • NTA. But have you been diagnosed w/cancer or a terminal disease? I don't understand why this has become a family controversy when you're only 36 yrs old. You could live another 50 yrs or more. A lot could happen in those intervening years.
    via u/Starry-Dust4444
  • 14
    Who knows you might end up marrying & having children of your own. This whole conversation is ridiculous imo.
    via u/Starry-Dust4444
  • 15
    El_Culero_Magn... • 16h ago I will never understand why people let the contents of their will be known to others.
    via u/El_Culero_Magn
  • 16
    SeagullInTheWi... • 14h ago • No judgment. Your belongings are yours to do as you please. But some reflections:
    via u/SeagullInTheWi
  • 17
    1: "A good start in their life"? If you're healthy, chances are that they will be waaaaay older than you are now by the time you kick the bucket.
    via u/SeagullInTheWi
  • 18
    2: Dave is an a_h_le, but he is not alone in that. Your will is none of his or anyone else's business. But of course Emma is on your side. Tell her you'll change your will and send everything to charity (or only one of her kids) and see what happens.
    via u/SeagullInTheWi
  • 19
    3: Yeah, um, relationships should evolve organically. The once or twice a year thing, though, is it you, the single person going to visit? or is it them, the entire family of five, coming for big family gatherings? Because if it is the latter, yes, in a way you are "punishing" your other
    via u/SeagullInTheWi
  • 20
    nephews and niece for circumstances entirely out of their control. The "split everything equal" doesn't ever deserve to be taken into account, these are not your kids.
    via u/SeagullInTheWi
  • 21
    s. 17h ago Edited 17h ago • I dont think he has a place to ask, but i can emphasize that it is favouritism And ofc Emma is going to side with you, she gets everything including her kids. Why even mention such bias?
    via u/shicyn829
  • 22
    eratoesben • 17h ago • - NTA how you choose to distribute your estate is entirely up to you! I do think that perhaps there wasn't a need to share the details and create animosity but again how you choose to make decisions is your
    via u/eratoesben
  • 23
    choice. Your money, your life but inviting flying monkeys only ever ends one way. Your brother needs to learn that sometimes in life you get out what you put in. It might not be his children's fault for being so far away but you simply do not have
    via u/eratoesben
  • 24
    the same type of relationship with them.
    via u/eratoesben

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